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Island of the misfit boy

I love to sleep, cause I pretend that I’m dead
But I hate waking up cause it’s hard to forget
That I’ve lost all control of this life that I’ve held so dear.
And I wait for the bus but I’m not on the bench,
I’m just spread across the ground making friends with cement,
Hoping that the bus won’t miss me when it comes my way.

Well I made a few jokes but they said they weren’t funny.
I tried to force a smile but they said it was ugly.
I tried to make a friend but no one was a friend to me.
Poured my heart to a girl and it went on the floor,
And I asked her what she wanted and she said she wanted more.
I tried to find a lover, all I found was an enemy.

Well I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself.
And I don’t make a sound but my eyes scream out help
And I start to struggle to hold myself back,
From thrusting my head straight through the fucking glass
And I’m tired of falling for girls that don’t care,
And breaking my back to try to make them aware
That I’m more than depressed and their time won’t be wasted
But I am just a broken boy that no one wants to play with.

Now I’m lost in this hole and I’m sure I am stuck
And I can’t run away ‘cause I’m lazy as fuck.
So I sit on the floor as I gather my thoughts
And they’re full of broken promises that only piss me off.
Well I lost control when I was only a boy,
The world taught me angst when I deserved joy.
Now I’m breaking down as I struggle to breathe,
Cause I believe in a god who won’t believe in me.

Well I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself.
And I don’t make a sound but my eyes scream out help
And I start to struggle to hold myself back,
From thrusting my head straight through the fucking glass
And I’m tired of falling for girls that don’t care,
And breaking my back to try to make them aware
That I’m more than depressed and their time won’t be wasted
But I am just a broken boy that no one wants to play with.

07.16.14 1

misstatianac:

“you will always be worth more than what you think.” I am good. I love so fiercely. I am worth someone who gives a shit. Someone who will treasure me and let me give them everything I can in return.

07.16.14 7
Bombshell

I’ve got nothing to say
I’m still recovering
From the bombshell you threw my way
I’m left with rubble
This shrapnel in my bubble
Seems to make it just a little harder to breath

Maybe I was fooling myself when I thought this could last
Things that are left behind
Always end up in the past
Maybe I was dreaming thinking this would never end
Nothing could ever save me from losing another friend

Life seems so tricky
But beggars can’t be picky
When did this become my choice at all
My memory is failing
But you’re still on my mind daily
It doesn’t fail fast enough for me

I know this is bad timing
And words sound worse when they’re rhyming
But these are things I needed you to know
Now with all this right in front of me
(Oh, how I always loved your company)
When will this despondency fade

I’ll never know

07.09.14 1
These days.

Iv been both the man who has treated girls like total shit, and not given a fuck, and iv been the man that has watched a girl get treated like shit, and ask myself “why?” Because I think she deserves so much better!…

Iv been both the guy who has had amazing girls treat me like a king, and i I didn’t give a fuck about them, and iv been the guy that has worshiped a girl and she treated me like total shit…

I guess what I’m trying to say is…. I understand…

That’s a lie! I’ll never fucking understand. But as a human the concept of the idea that I might try to
understand (just for a moment) how “love” works- it makes relationships just a little bit easier. Theoretically…

This might make sense- I have loved so deeply and pure, that now I hate so very much more deeply and pure…

They say you can’t love someone until you love yourself. That’s bullshit.
Because dear god, I fuxking hate myself- but iv loved so hard…

I started this post at 6am in the morning after a 2hr “nap”.

07.09.14 0
Zoom xforgetme:

same

Story of my fuxking life

xforgetme:

same

Story of my fuxking life

07.07.14 58670
Zoom langleav:

Love & Misadventure is available online via Amazon, BN.com + The Book Depository and Barnes & Noble, Kinokuniya, Books Actually, Fully Booked and other good book stores worldwide. 

langleav:

Love & Misadventure is available online via AmazonBN.com + The Book Depository and Barnes & Noble, Kinokuniya, Books Actually, Fully Booked and other good book stores worldwide. 

07.07.14 328324

radichul:

dearoldlove:

Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”. You didn’t get it and you got mad and thought I was playing around.

Breaking up after almost two years together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To Here”.

You still didn’t get it.

this hit me hard

07.04.14 625174
Zoom
07.04.14 95612
I think about you moaning my name.
07.01.14 32666
Zoom
07.01.14 455248